The Temper of an INFJ

I have a temper problem. Shocker, right? Short tempers - or strong, consuming tempers - are common among INFJs. I've heard it described as an extreme rage triggered by a major issue or built up over time on a lot of issues. Most of the time I can be a level headed person, but it took me a long time to keep it in check. (Before you ask, yes sociopaths have tempers. Often, they're portrayed as emotionless robots. As proven in previous posts through various authorities on the subject, this stereotype has no foundation and many psychologists and sociopaths are confused as to its origins.)

Tonight/early this morning was a big tipping point for me. I've been under a lot of pressure and stress - more than usual - and someone insulted me (to someone I consider a friend) in the worst way possible. To me, at least. Then, he started again on an issue he just won't let go despite many pleas to do so - including past ones from the friend whose life he's meddling in. Now, I'll admit I've never liked him. I realize at this time why: I knew guys like him. They were abusive to my friends (acquaintances in high school that I called friends out of expectation) - and a couple of them to me. Physically and emotionally. It set off some red flags with me. So, you can guess what happened next: The classic INFJ rage.

In that moment, I hated him more than I've hated all but one in my entire life - and that's really saying something. I wished him great harm. I imagined him suffering in many ways, especially in those ways he was inflicting upon those very few I care for.

And then I had a moment of clarity: why should he get to make me feel like this? Who is he to make me feel this bad? I control me - all of me. I control my emotions, not this arrogant prick. And that's when I did something that I've rarely done before. I asked for advice. What I received really helped.

I was told to take deep breaths and get out of myself for a while. Call upon my objective side and look at this problem from a neutral perspective. Look at this one problem, and then examine the world at large; see how small and insignificant this moment is. Then I was told to make a choice; go back into myself and decide if I wanted to let this one insignificant moment ruin my night and piss me off, or get a grip on the bigger picture and choose to let it go.

I chose to let it go.

I put on some nostalgic music, poured myself a drink, and reminded myself that I'm striving to be a good person and not allow myself to fall into stereotypes about what I am.

Fuck him. I'm not going to let him matter to me anymore.

My relaxing, nostalgic music: