I am an INFJ. I've recently been questioning myself and wondering if I could possibly be classified as an INxJ. I seem to jump back and forth from INFJ and INTJ when the situation calls for it and then I'm an INFJ by default when nothing is influencing me. Here are the 13 Signs You're A Classic INFJ from thoughtcatalog.com with my personal thoughts on each in italics.
13 Signs
1. You’re always in search of a deeper meaning. At work, in relationships, with friends, and interactions with strangers you’re continually looking at life and situations in an obscure way to discover what’s beyond the surface. I always like to listen to people rather than talk. You learn more about others that way. Not only that, what people say reveals more about them than they think. Through body language, context clues, and the like it's easy to learn so much about a person just by a simple, casual conversation. Though I really hate trying to make small talk. I always look at the world in general, people, and situations/problems from all angles to try and understand it better. I've become quite adept at it and can do this very quickly. Though if it calls for it, I take my time in order to be more thorough.
2. Although people have an easy time connecting with you sometimes you can be a difficult person to really know. You value your privacy and often feel like you can only be your “true self” around those closest to you. People attach to me easily because of my demeanor and the fact that I listen well. I don't just let them talk and retain a few key points - I take it all in. I also offer objective, deep advice that usually helps them and always know what to say or do to make a person feel at ease. I'm always in control of my body language and through all these things, I make friends easily. However, it's not in my nature to be open. I'm introverted and I don't trust (or for the most part even like) people. I end up knowing everything about them, sometimes more than they know about themselves. Yet, no one really knows a lot about me. I don't volunteer information and I like to keep to myself. Sometimes this creates problems among friends who expect me to be as open as they are. But I just don't function that way...
"People hide their truest nature. I understood that; I even applauded it. What sort of world would it be if people bled all over the sidewalks, if they wept under trees, smacked whomever they despised, kissed strangers, revealed themselves?" - Alice Hoffman
3. You’re a highly empathetic and sensitive person with an innate ability to understand what people are going through. Your care and concern for others is always genuine and you feel deeply for others. Here is where it gets a bit tricky for me. I am highly empathetic and can read people easily. I can understand and even feel their emotions. I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person) that immediately can feel the mood of people/rooms, is in tune with their environment, etc. I used to have a "bleeding heart" and take on other people's problems, sometimes getting more stressed and worried than they felt themselves. But over the years, I've taught myself not to care about others so much. It came at the same time as I stopped trusting people. I went cold for the most part. I don't trust people. Most of the time, I don't like them. I find them tedious and dull energy suckers, and I've come to not care about people in general. There are exceptions to the rules: I still care about some family. I still have friends. I can count the number of people I trust on one hand and half of those I reveal my true self to. I care about some people, but unlike before: I don't care about everyone. Now I have to know you deeply, be related to you or consider you a very close friend, or have my well-being connected with yours to give a shit about you. But my care is always genuine.
4. You find it easy to connect with others and exhibit both introvert and extrovert qualities. You love meeting and interacting with other people and at times can be the life of the party but eventually, you have to go home and recharge. This is true. Sometimes I want to be on my own and avoid people like they have the plague. Other times, I just want to be around a small group of people I know. And still, there are occasional times where I like to be around a bunch of people (but still need to be with at least three people I know) and will be really extroverted. In ANY case where I'm around more than two people for an extended time, I get exhausted. The more people there are (or the more extroverted people are), the quicker this happens. I end up wandering off and wanting to be alone for a few hours. Sometimes I'll even just go to sleep.
5. Even beyond high school or college you enjoy learning, particularly about society, other cultures, languages, people, literature, and art. You’re always excited to learn something new and find your interests expanding as you get older. Yes, yes, and more yes. But here's where I wonder... When I'm feeling particularly INFJ (or when I'm alone; as explained INFJ is my default), this matches up to the letter. But in certain situations when I find myself acting more INTJ, I take more of an interest in facts, numbers, statistics, figuring out how things work, etc. I become more type A when I'm exhibiting traits of INTJ. This is what causes me to wonder about being INxJ.
6. You strive for the ideal in every aspect of your life. You have very strong opinions and are driven by your values. You will absolutely fight for what you believe in. This is always true. I have high standards and I refuse to compromise them. I adhere to strict moral guidelines and expect the same of my friends. I can't choose my family, but I can choose my companions. And as I always say, if they aren't living up to your standards, move on. The company I keep is a reflection on myself and who I am. Who I choose to surround myself with says a lot about who I am as a person. Once in a while, someone will slip through the cracks. They don't live up to my standards, but I still keep them around and treat them with loyalty and respect. This doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's only because a person has been outstandingly kind, loyal, generous, honest, accepting, open-minded, adaptable, or another admirable trait - or they saved my life.
7. Sometimes you forget to take care of yourself. You become so passionate about certain projects or things going on with other people that often you end up exhausted and weary. When you’re so busy trying to take care of the world you must remember to take care of yourself as well. I am always forgetting to eat or sleep (or complete other important tasks) because I'm so busy with something. When I set my mind to a task, project, or interest, I give myself to it completely. Everything else just has to wait. I'm no good with domestic things because of this. I hate that stuff and can always find a better use for my time.
8.
You’re a deep and complex person but at the same time you also tend to
live a very simple life. It really doesn’t take very much to make you
feel happy and content with your life. You see things on a larger scale
and put more emphasis on your relationships with friends and loved ones
over possessions or money. Also very true. I am complex and hard to understand. It's taken years and years for people just to begin to scratch the surface. But at the same time, I really do tend to look at the big picture. I value the few secure, loyal, and mutually respectful relationships more than anything else. And though I struggle with clinical depression, that aside it really doesn't take much to make me feel content. But don't confuse my feeling content with a lack of ambition. I'm ambitious as hell, but I'm also happy with what I have which makes it easier to accept if my ambitions don't pan out (after trying most everything to accomplish it).
9. You can be loyal to a
fault. You recognize everyone has flaws and you try to see the beauty in
people’s weaknesses over judging them. The problem lies when others
don’t give you the same courtesy and you end up feeling bitter or
resentful. Mostly true. When someone earns my loyalty, I will be completely and unwaveringly loyal until they give me a good reason not to be (or aren't as completely loyal to me). I see flaws, and I expect people to at least try to fix them or adapt the flaws into a valuable strength. If it cannot be adapted or fixed, I try not to judge them for it. But I will judge if the flaws can be adapted or fixed and a person does not choose to do so citing "It's just how I am; can't you accept me and stop trying to change me?" as an excuse. Who the hell CHOOSES to be flawed and less than they are capable of being? What kind of person says, "Yeah, I know that's wrong, I know that's a flaw. But I'm not going to fix it because it's just part of who I am and people have to love all of me or they're a bad person." Who does that? I can't stand people like that! If there's a problem, fix it or change it into something good. Otherwise, you're a waste of my time and you need to get out of my life. You're toxic.
11. The true feeling of success to you is based on the condition of your relationships with others and your own level of accomplishment. Eh. Mostly. As I've stated, I've learned to distrust people and I've taught myself to not care about them as much as I did before. I used to worry about everyone and everything and be so compassionate. Now I realize people are inherently evil and so I've adapted. I now put more emphasis on my own level of accomplishment in my life: the success of my goals, changing others' point of view, and so on. I put less emphasis on relationships with friends.
12. Your insight is one of your greatest assets and it regularly helps you solve problems. You notice the small details most people seem to overlook. By being able to find patterns and meanings in the world around you you’re able to look at a problem in a number of ways and generate various possibilities. I'm very observant when I care about something. If it doesn't generate enough interest in me, sometimes, I'll overlook things. But if I care about something, I will obsess over it and keep at it with determination, learning all I can. I take in every detail that people miss, become hyper observant, and neglect other areas of my life to devote more attention to the situation/project/interest. I look at things in every angle I can think of and consider countless possibilities. If there's a pattern to be found, I usually find it. I can always bring interesting and unique insight to something, which usually leads to an answer/solution.
13. You find joy and fulfillment out of expressing yourself through the arts. You likely have a talent for language and writing. Self-expression helps you release everything that’s going on in your head. Yes. No objection. Also, I enjoy reading about a wide variety of subjects, building things, and learning by doing. That's the other half of me. The one half is very interested in art (painting, drawing, decorating), designing, writing, society, music, and cultures. The other half of me that I revert to on occasion likes learning to construct things, reading statistics about certain topics, organizing projects, labeling, and more technical things. Hence my INxJ quandary.
So what do you think? I'm more often (and by default) an INFJ. I've tested as INFJ every single time. I identify most with INFJ. Yet in certain occasional situations, I lean more toward INTJ. Does this make me an INFJ with adaptability? Or INxJ?
